Thursday, August 29, 2013

If the idea of gel oozing into your bra scares you

Measure the band size wearing an un-padded bra. Use the measuring tape and measure under your bustline. Be sure that the tape is parallel to the ground. Make sure you exhale all of the air out of your lungs before you take the final measurement. You will want the smallest measurement possible.

Write the number down, rounding to the nearest whole number. If the measurement is even, add 4 inches. If the measurement is odd, add 5 inches.

Trace the front, back and sides of the top of your garment using pencil and paper. Add between 2 and 4 inches to the sides, to cover the area of your bust; the larger your bust, the more space you add to the side seams.

Measure the bust area from where the top of the garment starts to the bottom of where your regular bra band sits. Draw a straight line on the paper with this measurement; this gives you the length you need.

Measure your band size. Standing up straight, use a measuring tape to find the number of inches around your rib cage. Arrange the measuring tape just below your breasts, where the bra band will sit.

Adjust the number. If your measuring tape says 33 inches or less, add five inches to the number. If the measuring tape says 34 inches or more, add four inches. For example, if your rib cage is 35 inches, add 4 to make 39. There is a controversy in the lingerie world whether one should add these numbers, but Calvin Klein is in the camp that does. So calculate this way for their brand.

Seal the bag tightly. This is important, of course.

Now, slide the filled bag into a second bag, upside down. The opening of the sealed bag should go inside the empty bag first.

Seal the second bag.

If the idea of gel oozing into your bra scares you, triple bag the insert just to be safe.

If you’ve chosen a snack baggie, put on your cheap lingerie as usual, but slide the insert in under your bra and watch it make your breast fill out the cup just like a real bra insert would.

If you’ve chosen a larger sandwhich baggie, place it inside your bra, while you’re wearing it. Just pull the cup away from your breast, and place the insert so that it lines the inside of the bra cup and will then cover the breast inside the bra.

If you'd like, decorate the first bag with paint, glitter or stickers, if you're feeling particularly girlie, before placing it inside that second and third protective bag. The inserts can last as long as you'd like as long as you're gentle with them and don't squeeze too hard.

Voila! Now go out and strut your new ones. Spend the money that you saved on a round with the girls!

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